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ED
by Julie
He is always there, watching my every move.
Sometimes he compliments me
and tells me I am beautiful
but only to then whisper
that I will not be beautiful if I eat that.
Sometimes he tells me
I am not good enough,
not pretty enough.
“Your fat” he says.
“You are nothing without me”.
He lurks around all the time waiting,
waiting until I am happy & content.
He creeps in slowly to destroy my recovery
and ultimately my happiness.
He wrecks every relationship I have
or even could have with others.
He taints the love & support I feel from them
and tells me I can only recover if I am on my own.
So I push them away and we are alone again.
Sometimes he waits.
A week maybe two, maybe even a month.
Once he waited an entire year.
But he always comes back
and I always let him in
and listen to what he says.
Will he ever go away?
Will I ever be able to breath easy
and just know that he will never return?
Or will I always need to stay on the lookout?
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Copyright by Julie.
Do you want to get in touch with the author?
E-mail me and I will forward your information to her.
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